Transition

It's been a while since I have blogged. Honestly, I have had lots to say and several times in the past few weeks I'll hit "ctrl + T" and open up blogger only for me to sit and stare at the page. A few times I actually started to write something only to be distracted and then come back and erase it because I didn't like how it read. The truth is I'm going through some serious internal transition. A transition that I don't really have a handle on. At GBSA's Leadership Workshop during our Titus 2 session we talked a lot about transition. Mama (aka Nekia D) said that we must identify where we are in order to maximize transition. She also said that we should surround ourselves with people who know we are and what we are capable of...people who are willing to push us, encourage us, pull us, drag us, etc... I could use some of that right now. I'm no stranger to transition...life is about change. The only thing constant in life is change. This period is so different than other times in my life, though. If I had to pinpoint why this time was different I could in 3 words. I.AM.DEPRESSED. I fought that realization for a long while mainly because I saw it as weakness and as I have said before not being strong is not always an option to me in my mind. All the signs are there though. (I googled it and have read as much as I could stomach on the subject of depression) I don't really know what to do about it, which only perpetuates this feeling of weakness. I would feel better if I had some definite plan of action to cure me of this. I've confided and a couple of friends who have really been pushing me to face my feelings and to re-identify the things that God has placed inside of me. Bottom line... I wish I could just take an eraser to some parts of my life and start over, but I can't. So, until I can figure out the pieces to this puzzle I am stuck dealing with current reality of my life.