Family Ties

So, after my post "Fragile" and some other events that occurred I started to think about how I regard my friendships. If you were to ask me how many friends I have I would reply with a very small number. I have never had a lot of friends. It surprised me to talk to a sister and for her to tell me that she thought I had a lot of friends just based on how she sees me interact with people. I am a social person and lean more towards the extroverted side of the spectrum. I am undoubtedly a sanguine choleric. With all that taken into consideration I am also a person who is loved or not. People tend to fall into one side or the other with me and I've learned to not sweat the people who don't. It's all good... it isn't realistic for me to think everyone is going to like me or even love me. Now even with the sizeable amount of people who do like/love me I still hold most of them arms length. It really all boils down to me not really trusting most people. It isn't necessarily a conscious decision to allow someone in my circle it sort of just happens, but best believe their removal from my circle is a lot more clear and distinct. They may not realize until much later that they have been given the pink slip, but I can pretty much pinpoint the exact moment or situation. See with the people I call my friends I exercise much patience, longsuffering, love, kindness, etc, etc. The thing is I've learned to not allow friendships overshadow my well-being. I can't allow a unhealthy relationship infect me so much so that I begin to deteriorate. I rarely even feel bad about it. It's like a Doctor removing a cancerous tumor from their patient. The patient may go through different effects from the operation afterwards, but I have yet to meet someone who actually felt bad for the tumor. BUT even through all that there is an elite few that are tried and true...we have our ups and downs, which only end up strengthening our bonds. We have become so close of friends I don't really think of them as friends, but more as family. They are the people who I envision being the god-parents, aunts and uncles of my children. They are the people that tend to claim my mom and vice versa. These people have been their for me when I least expected it. They have stood by me when others were quick to judge me without knowing me. They are the people that give me strength without even knowing that they are. These elite few are the people that I can be me: the uncut version! These are the people that I know I have a covenant relationship with that will last a lifetime.

Shout-out to all those people...They know who they are!