Fragile

So, my whole life I have been playing the role of a Superwoman. At least that is how I feel. I can't remember a time that I didn't feel that I was obligated to be strong. That strength was primarily for others. I felt that if I could just keep it together than they would think that everything is going to be alright. Now that I think about it it sounds pretty cocky to think that I could even have that kind of effect anyone. Well, this has been a pretty consistent storyline in my life mainly with my family. I'm expected to be the one to have it all together and to have enough strength to carry everyone else. It gets tiring because honestly I don't have it all together and I'm often times not strong enough. When I stand up for myself I made out to be the selfish self-centered daughter/sister/granddaughter/etc. When I try to be honest with them about my lack of strength they try to take it like I'm just trying to be humble. I know I have God and a few God-given friends I can lean on, but I don't always know how to. I talk, I meditate, I pray, I vent, etc, etc, etc but it just doesn't seem to be enough. I want to just shake my (insert name here) and tell her get yourself together until something clicks in her mind, but I know that won't work. Is it too much to ask to have a well-balanced relationship where it's more give and take than give, give, give with my family members??? In the meantime I got to learn how to be more assertive and lean on my friends for the support they so generously give me. Thanks Omie, Twin, and Lindsey...they've been my personal superstars lately.