Something to Sing About

So, earlier today I was fully prepared to post a blog about how as of lately I'm just not as happy with my life as I feel I should be. I was going to discuss how I think I am experiencing a quarter-life crisis. Well, God must've been eavesdropping reading my drafts because something happened to me today that planted a little gratitude in my heart. As I was sitting by Downtown Silver Spring waiting for my bus to arrive to go home a gentlemen approached me regarding me as "young queen." Normally I don't pay much mind to guys no matter the age when they speak. I try not to be rude, but normally these kinds of situations only result in them trying to get my number, which isn't something I am willing to give out to just anyone. This one was different. He introduced himself by giving me his full name. He explained to me that he wasn't trying to flirt with me or approach me in a disrespectful manner. He went on to tell me his story. He told me where he and his family lived and how he was returning from a job where the employer short changed him on pay. He told me that he only had $63 to his name and owed $75 in rent for the room he and his family stayed in. He told me that he was hoping to collect some change in order to go to the store and get something for him and his family to eat. Then he asked me if I could spare some change. He was very adamant in telling me his story because he didn't want to appear to be a beggar and because he didn't want me to think he was a homeless vagrant trying to score to get some booze. He story stuck me. It touched my heart. He was genuinely embarrassed to ask me for something since he was 49 years old and I am clearly younger than him. I have to admit. Normally if I pay attention to these kinds of requests I would scrounge up some change and give it to the person for the most part to get them to move on. In my heart I knew that God sent this man to give me some perspective on my life. I felt bad for him. I knew it had to take a lot of him to make such a request of anyone and still keep some dignity about himself. The most memorable thing was that before I pulled the cash from my pocket to give him he asked me my name and asked me if I remembered his name. I admitted I didn't. Remembering names weren't ever really my strong suit. He said he had to ask me my name so that when he got home he and his family could come together to thank God and to send a special shout-out to heaven on my behalf. He also said that he wanted to make sure I knew his name so that I could do the same. Then he looked me in the eyes and said you're already blessed, but if I could pay you back in some way I will. He asked for my email address and gave me his because he wanted the option to pay me back. I told him it wasn't necessary, but he said he wanted to. By his facial expression I knew what I gave him was more than he expected (I gave him $10) and although that was practically nothing for me it meant so much to him.

It really got me thinking about how unsatisfied I have been with my life lately. I have so many questions that are unanswered...so many unfulfilled dreams and desires...so many mixed emotions about where I am and where I could be headed...etc. I am lonely like every other day. 2009 marked the year that my biological clock started to tick...the more I try to ignore it the louder it seems to tick. But with all that I am and should be grateful. I am so fortunate because despite the fact I feel like my life isn't meeting my expectations it exceeds other people's current realities. I haven't ever felt like I needed to walk the streets praying that someone would be kind to me so that I could eat. I've never had to humble myself in that way. So, despite the parts of my life that are under major construction I have so much to be happy about...so much to sing about with limitless joy.